You can't discover new land unless you're willing to loose sight of the coast

Back in around 2012 I painted this picture for my Mom. Maybe it was just as much for me actually as I was feeling quite dissatisfied with my life at that time. After getting allery for flowers I had worked a couple of jobs where I was really unhappy and it was not a good work environment and now found myself in a company with some really nice people.

However I was still dragging myself though the days because as much as I loved the people I hated the job itself. I joined an atelier because I enjoyed painting and being creative as a child but the creative juices were not really flowing and I was struggling to make myself go there even though it was a 5 minute walk. This painting is the only decent thing (except a friendship I still treasure to this day) that came out of it. I've since come to term with the fact that my creativity lies in a different place and that I need a strong concept or idea presented to me to paint.

Like I said this painting was for my Mom but I was the one needing the message. My Mom had found a little cartoon made over a quote from André Gide - and here I have to insert that either I remember it wrong or the little cartoon got it wrong, because as I'm looking it up right now it seems I've been quoting it wrong all along. I'll have to take a look next time i visit as I know she still has it hanging.

Anyway... How I remember the quote, that's alredy been translated from French to Danish and now by me from memory to English it says "Man does not discover new land unless he is willing to loose sight of the shore". It turns out it's originally "he has the courage" instead of being willing and it's new oceans instead of new land. However, it dosen't take away from the point - if we want a change we have to sacrifice feeling safe and secure. And this I what I needed to hear in that time. I new deep down that things had to change, things could not go on like it was. I was reaching a point where I was literally falling asleep at work and getting depressed. But what that meant was scary.

In my painting it's a boat made of paper that's embarking on it's journey. I found our later that in the cartoon it was actually just a normal boat. That might be due to my terrible memory we've already touched on, but I think it probably has a lot to do with how I felt, thinking about what I was going to have to do. I was on the verge of making a decision that was going to send me on a trajectory I could not even have imagined. But I did get on board my little paper boat and I applied to go back to school and start taking life into my own hands.

I'm still trying to find my way in life, but I thank the Lord for giving me the courage to sail off. And even if I could go back I would still do it again.